Goblin Knoll

All I want in life is a larder full of meats and breads and pies, and a hoard full of shiny treasure. I’m at the cabin right now, and this would perhaps be the goblin equivalent.

23 Comments

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23 responses to “Goblin Knoll

  1. What’s standing between you and this ideal? The cabin’s setting? Its architecture? The landscaping? Lack of lard? Insufficient time to put up mincemeat? The expense of dry-cured meats? Too little twine?

  2. Kimiko

    I can’t even take this. CAN’T EVEN TAKE IT.

    My heart is looking at the knoll, looking around our apartment, looking at the knoll, staring at my brain as if to say, “what the hell? MAKE IT HAPPEN, BITCH.”

    • Marian

      I know, man! The good shit in life is so obvious, so why can’t it get cracking already?

      • Kimiko

        Ohohoh, Goblin Knoll or not, soon I can give you homemade sourdough rye bread. Uh huh. And even some straight up sourdough starter so you could make something less rye-ish should you so desire. You and me, we’re all about the fermentation.

        • Ooo. I sense the potential to repurpose this whole blog to a sourdough-zealots’ geekout joint! I’ve been trying to trick Marian into building a clay oven but she’s been claiming lack of a plausible location (and I agree that wood and charcoal fires in the middle of apartment floors are a fairly poor idea under most non-Mad-Max conditions.)

          Crap! What am I doing in front of my computer? I have dough to fold!

        • Marian

          Rye is the best. I bet my sister would want some of the starter, actually, since she makes sourdough sort of frequently.
          Can you make pickles? I want to learn to make pickles.

          • Do you mean the fermented-in-brine kind of cucumber pickles? I haven’t made those before but I hear it’s stump-simple if you can get nice small cukes or nice big jars (insert depression-era rural double entendre here.)

            I make sweet-n-sour refrigerator pickles (easy!) on a regular basis and preserved lemons once a year or so. And escabeche, if that counts as pickles.

            Also fermented ginger beer made with ginger-beer plant. Like kombucha, except tasty tasty ginger beer.

            And, you know, beer. Easy as soup. You should brew up some ale right this minute, in whatever containers you have around, and draw a step-by step.

  3. Sister

    I agree with Kimmi (sp?). I am looking at my desk, peaking in the drawers, looking on shelves. I kinda have the library thing going, but i suspect it is more fire hazard then fantasy adventure.

    • Marian

      To be fair, that entire setup is probably one big fire hazard, what with the candles everywhere.

      Transylvania bread and cheese and meats, this Sunday? As consolation?

  4. Victor

    Would you actually eat the meats if you had them? I would donate a haunch to your larder if you gorged on its savory meatiness.

    • Marian

      Gorge is my middle name, sir! Give me your haunches! I mean, uh, the savory meaty ones… oh man, there’s no making that sound right.

  5. kim

    i love how the treasure room floor is sagging!

    that’s the sign that it’s been a good season of hoarding :)

  6. Goblin shelter magazines make me wanna testify:

    Have you ever noticed that shelter magazines purport to feature architecture and interior design but in fact feature rooms with 9/10 the stuff taken out? Rooms with 9/10 the stuff taken out always look great!

    We don’t need architects; we need burglars! Goblin burglars!

    • Marian

      Are shelter magazines a real thing? What is this crazy world you live in, of self-made outdoor ovens and strange magazines?

      I wish burgling worked like in ye old fantasy videogames. I’d be the chief of the burglar’s guild.

      • weaausmtam on November 29, 2009 Hyundai, Kia have virtually got nothing to blame these days, actually the best car money can buy,, but any other choice?you are simply throwing away the best value option, period, Don’t be a fool to go by old stale name brand, You can not afford to fool youself in the toughest economy now

  7. Kai

    I had a book of mazes as a kid that I got epic nostalgia for looking at this. It was filled with stuff like gnome tunnels and fairy treehouses and pirate coves that had all these little nooks and crannies with bedrooms and storerooms and stuff that I would spend hours looking at. I knew all the mazes by heart, but I kept going back and following them and pretending the inhabitants were going about their daily business in them just because they were so cool.

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