Further Adventures in Wanting

I know my last post was a want list, so really, isn’t it time for an Impossible Jacket or the Spring 2012 line or something? But no, in my personal triage system, this want list is bleeding all over the floor from its gruesomely severed main artery. Which is to say, I’m feeling more than usually petulant and in need of everything that is tasty and awesome and expensive, and the internet at large must know.

So, it turns out that my recent health stuff (I promised to report if it was Hchom-relevant) is possibly related to food allergies. I took a blood test, and here’s what I’m intolerant to: wheat, all dairy, eggs (eggs, man!), almonds, beef, garlic, ginger, mustard,  and some other stuff that’s less sensational. I was actually ready for wheat – it sort of runs in the family – but I had no idea it would be nearly this dramatic.

Of course I want to beat my breast and tear out my hair, and make hyperbolic statements about how I’m allergic to ALL TASTY THINGS. But I know that a lot of people have it way worse, so I’m willing to roll with this – certainly in the hope of not feeling like the risen dead on a daily basis. What really, really sucks is that I’m going to be the biggest drag ever, for anyone who has to eat a meal with me – at least for the next year or so. As if I wasn’t enough of a weird, anxious hermit.

And of course it affects all my comforting daily routines, which is almost as bad. Just after I got these results, I took a walk to my favourite cafe, Le Marché St. George (but I call it the Hobbit Market), and the awesome lady who runs the place gave me a wodge of croissant pudding for free, because she knows I love it. And there may have been tears. Thank you, nicest Hobbit Market lady! It was the best sendoff ever.
I suppose I’ll have to find new equivalents, but that doesn’t seem possible. There is nothing on earth that will stand in for the beloved ritual of walking to the Hobbit Market, hoping they will have my croissant pudding.

There’s still an actual post somewhere at the end of all this. As I was saying, I don’t want to be all melodramatic, but I am famous in song and story for my love of muffins and buttery pies. So I’ve put together a nice, imaginary care package for myself to help me through this period of mourning. And now let’s get to that.

1. When I was a kid, I spent a lot of time collecting sticks, and whittling the ends into sharp points so I could name them after the swords in bad fantasy books and old Squaresoft RPGS. Atma-weapon! Masamune! I think I was pretty awesome, actually. So I’d like another pocket knife – I have a lot of sword-naming to catch up on – and this is one I’ve been eying for a while.

2. I’m aware I talked about Beta 5 in the last Want List, but everyone knows that wants just fester if left unfulfilled. Want want want.

3. Some fancy fizzy thing? I can’t even settle on a specific one.

4. Trust me to have already found a lead on vegan, wheat-free desserts within 10 blocks of my apartment. Most of the items here have almonds (and are pricey, alas), but a few things don’t. I tried the chocolate macaroons, and now I want vast, vast quantities more.

5. My famed hoard of many honeys is down to one jar. That’s like when the Carebears’ care-o-meter (or whatever it was called) drops nearly to zero, and Carealot starts crumbling to pieces (surely this is a pivotal memory for everyone). So really that one little jar is just emblematic. I need, like, seven.

6. Desperate times call for NEW SHINIES.

7. Introducing for the first time: a want list within a want list. In close consultation with Brandon, I’ve decided it’s been way too long since I’ve received a Loot Bag – like the kind they gave out at children’s birthday parties (do they, still?). And if I’m going to be specific, I want a SPACE-themed Loot Bag. This selection about covers it, but a higher tasty-things quotient wouldn’t hurt. And have you guys seen these SPACE BUGS? Is this some kind of annoying toy fad that makes me look really uncool? Is it just that (Mass-Effect-omni-tool) shade of early-nineties transparent fluorescent orange hitting my internal nostalgia unit like an Acme Anvil?  Because I don’t care, I saw them in a toy store yesterday, and they are SO RAD.

31 Comments

Filed under Hchom, Wants

31 responses to “Further Adventures in Wanting

  1. Sigh, Marian, all the things you want are the things I want!

    I wish you luck in your finding new tasty things. I know it’s always hard to accomodate people with large lists of allergies when they come into the restaurant I work at or the deli my uncle owns, good luck good luck! ps: you should keep us updated if you find any really delicious creative substitutes to eat I am interested in hearing about them.

    • Marian

      No wonder we want the same things – our names are almost identical!

      I will definitely keep you updated – I hope I’ll have lots of content along those lines.

  2. i was totally lusting over that Opinel, but a muuuuuch cheaper version is here:

    http://www.opinel-usa.com/products.asp?cat=Opinel+Beechwood

  3. I hope there’s a way to buy an Opinel in Canada for less than $26, because that sounds like a serious rip-off. The main point of the Opinel is that it’s cheap. You don’t expect to pay more than 10, maybe 12 euros for a good one. (that’s with a stainless steel blade).

    • Marian

      I thought maybe it was import fees (everything is more expensive in Canada for that reason), but the commenters above agree with you. I’ll keep an eye out for something significantly cheaper.

  4. Rob

    Not sure if you’re a cook, but this site might be handy considering your recently discovered food allergies.
    http://sansglutensanslactose.wordpress.com

    • Marian

      I don’t cook at all! But it looks like I’m going to have to learn (or starve), so thanks for the link.

  5. Can you recommend any places in Vancouver to acquire delicious awesome honey? I’m on a honey + greek yogurt + bartlet pear kick lately that’s been incredibly satisfying and just ran out of some kind of fancy schmancy alpine flower honey I got on the sunshine coast with nothing to replace it other than a fairly generic brand from the grocery store, bah.

    • Marian

      Yes! I mean, my favourites are also the ones that I pick up in weird little places and can never reproduce, but as far as easy access goes, I think that Chilliwack River Valley Honey is really good – I like the Mountain Honey best, personally. They carry them in all the natural foods type chains, but I like going to their store in Granville Island so I can get the glass jars, big nerd that I am (and they let you sample them there).

  6. I’m sorry to hear about your allergies! That is really unfortunate, especially for one who appreciates tasty things like you do!
    A member of my family recently discovered a gluten allergy too, and has been getting creative with potatoes and rice/potato/amaranth flour. If she comes up with anything especially h’amazing I’ll pass it on! Here’s a trick: boil potatoes in the evening, then cut ’em up and fry ’em in the morning for a quick delicious breakfast bread-substitute.
    Your drawings and wants are as lovely as ever! They make me happy inside.

    • Marian

      Thanks! And do pass anything on if it occurs to you. I’m lucky, because Vancouver is a big hippie city, and probably accommodates people with weird food needs better than many other places might. So something like a half-decent loaf of vegan gluten free bread is no problem at all (it tastes almost like normal bread, if you toast it really dark…)

      That potato thing is an fine idea – I’ll coerce Brandon into making it for me.

  7. Eszter

    Hi Marian,

    I hope you are getting better now that you know what is the problem. It can’t be easy. I’m on a diet myself, but that’s because of ehm, body and health problems. It won’t last forever, but I can relate. Though it’s a good thing to experience that I feel much better now, I hope you will, too.
    That letter got lost somewhere I think. xD I’ll try and rewrite it, but I don’t really have time these days, school has a way of growing on my head.

    Eszter

    • Marian

      Eszter, your letter did arrive! I only took a very long time responding, but I did finally send it. You may have it already, or it should get there soon.

      I am feeling better. But agh, food restriction. Definitely not my the best thing, is it.

  8. John Christ

    Sorry to hear about the food allergies. A close friend of mine who was a fan of all things wheat and grain related discovered a few years ago that she is allergic to all things gluten. I think she has a few gluten free recipes for muffins, corn bread, and such that might sate your hunger. Also,I am embarking on a quest to brew her a gluten free beer that does NOT taste like wet sweat socks (be warned, anything with sorghum in it tastes like wet sweat socks). The first brew was an utter failure but I have mediocre hopes for the second batch!!

    If you want I can contact her for adive on gluten free muffin brands and other food stuffs that taste good.

    • Marian

      Wow, I had no idea gluten free beer was even possible.

      Much appreciated. I don’t do much cooking or baking, but I’ll let you know if I ever need a recipe.

  9. jordynfb

    I love your posts. I’m also really sorry to hear about your health problems and sympathize. I’ve been dealing with similar things for the last few years, and it’s really hard to keep the engine steaming some days, but then it’s also like a new path to being an extra specialized monk.

    This is something I’ve wanted to make for a while recently, and I think if you got rid of the almonds it would BE SO FUCKING GOOD: http://www.channel4.com/4food/recipes/chefs/hugh-fearnley-whittingstall/raw-chocolate-ganache-tart-recipe

    • Marian

      I like your extra specialised monk theory. That almost makes me like not being able to eat eggs.

      That cake looks fucking magical. There’s a place near me that does something almost exactly like that (and various other surprisingly tasty things things in that vein), but at a high cost. Still, we can go there and be monkish if you ever visit Vancouver.

  10. Dimple

    Careful, that robot bug might be dangerous… http://tardis.wikia.com/wiki/Cybermat

  11. I’m just going to cry for you so hard right now.

    It might be all of the booze, but I’m pretty sure it’s more about your pain. I definitely know what it’s like to have to deal with stupid fucking diet issues like this. Ugh.

    They’re talking of releasing a port of Dark Souls for PC. If/when they do, a copy will definitely be heading your way.

    • Marian

      I signed a petition some time ago, to get it on the PC! I’m hoping that it happens.

      Thanks for sympathizing, I really appreciate it. I’m getting by OK. It’s not too bad, and my memories of delicious pizza are starting to get all vague and fuzzy.

  12. Sachiko

    I went off wheat last week and already I am bouncing out of bed (well… as much as Sachis bounce out of bed) with vigor. Wheatfree = vigor +5. But I hear you… moofins? hearty breads? etceeee? To compensate, I’ve been eating a lot of hot potatoey things. Small organic russets rubbed with olive oil and baked in the oven (no tin foil) (a la Kimi) and then wodged with plentiful butter are particularly cozy, these days. (Not even BUTTER?)

    Come to Toronto so I can prepare you all manner of cozy!!

    • Marian

      I figure I can reincorporate butter soon. Because butter doesn’t really count as dairy, does it? Surely not. Though the weird vegan butter alternative isn’t so bad. And it turns out that souping everything in olive oil or coconut oil is almost as good, and sometimes better.

      Also, avocados! Bacon from trees.

      I have to give Kimi credit – she called this whole food allergy thing years ago.

  13. frogthegreat

    Do you have a svpply account? I think you’d like that site

  14. Pingback: Engineering Comics: Dinner and a Show | Jamie Davida Lee

  15. You should set up a p.o. box bc I would love to try to send you at least one shiny! Love your site and tumblr.

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