I think stockings are the best part of Christmas. Certainly they are in my family – the finest and most extensive care package of the year. There are a few specific traditions that I didn’t need to list here. For instance, we always get a small box of Space Lego to put together before breakfast (to keep us occupied, so my parents can have time to wake up before getting to the bigger stuff – is it bad that we still need that?). But we are sort of reasonable now. At least, we’ve taken up the practice of putting together stockings for our parents, too.
Anyway, mum, here is my list of specific ideas (most of which hardly need reiterating, but I like talking about them anyway).
1. So socks – never has the need been greater! My ideal sock would be knee-high, built to stay up well (some of us roll our pantlegs, you see), black (or dark grey or dark navy), very thin, and not 100% cotton (because I recently heard that this isn’t good for people who [like me] have strange circulation problems that turn their digits white and purple and numb – nice, yes?). Also, not likely to fall to pieces after I walk a couple miles in them. But all that might not be possible, so something more-or-less along most of those lines.
2. Underwear. I like getting socks and underwear for Cribbers – it’s like I was built to be somebody’s semi-neglected son-in-law. And not even fancy underwear (which personally I can’t stand), only the plainest and most boring of full-coverage cotton briefs (black and grey pack, 5), which I’ve worn since I was a teenager. I’ll never change my ways. You’ll have to pry them from my cold, dead… well, anyway.
3. Beeswax candles are always good (for fantasy ambiance, you see). The huge towers are the best, but I drew tapers because those are cheaper, stocking-wise.
4. The fanciest of marmalades. There’s no such thing as too many.
5. The fanciest of dark chocolate, same deal.
6. Tea works well, if you’re at a loss. Note: it does not have to be the fanciest.
7. A shiny! If you happen to be near Amethyst Creations on 4th and Macdonald, or The Crystal Ark in Granville Island…
8. A men’s fashion magazine. Lark would be a good place to look for one, or the place at the front of my building.
9. Finnska licorice. There may be some holy grail of licorice, somewhere away through the mists, but Finnska is the best I’ve ever found. They carry it at the Whole Foods near me.
10. A lock, for practicing my lockpicking! Just a regular five-tumbler doorknob lock, which is usually the most basic one there is. It should be inexpensive, but not the cheapest one (shitty cheap locks are harder to pick, or so I’m finding). Like, a Weiser (brand) would probably be ideal.
11. If you make an underwear order, consider getting me some men’s boxer-briefs as well. These are the best pyjama bottoms, I find, because they fit perfectly under a onesie – and I need to get some anyway.
12. Orange in the toe!
marianchurchland.com 
Orange in the toe is key. (Oranges in the toe drive Rachel crazy, but she is WORNG!)
ALL OF CRIBBERS hinges on the orange in the toe. (OK, that might be a bit dramatic, but I agree with you in any case [not to gang up in Rachel or anything, who is certainly allowed her strange, tradition-defying idiosyncrasies]).
Also, I like WORNG as a kind of super-wrong.
Hehe lockpicking is so much fun, I sometimes take my kit along to my dnd sessions as I play a rogue. :) I bought a set when I was down in Las Vegas 2 years ago at Defcon (hacker’s convention), they had a whole room dedicated to lockpicking with lots of demos and lots of tumblers of all kinds. They even showed how to open up old style handcuffs with a bent hairpin, so classy! Available were some really great door tumbler kits where you can work your way up from 1-6 pins: http://toool.us/equipment.html Kinda kicking myself now that I didn’t pick them up, I loved them cause you could see on the other end what was going on. That’s not including all the awesome lockpicking contests they had. Gringo warrior- where you’ve been arrested by the Federales and you have to work your way out of multiple different types of locks.
Cheap locks are wayyy harder to pick yeah, I find masterlocks work just fine, but even good locks after a while start to stick from being worn down with filaments and it becomes impossible to get the pins all aligned if you accidentally shove one up too far, hard mode. :|
This blog has made me very tempted to start collecting shinies, I live in Vancouver too, you’re not making this easy!
If you are playing as a rogue in D&D sessions, then it is YOUR DESTINY to become a hoarder of shinies. Just saying. And the place at 4th and MacDonald is just dusty and disorganised enough (though not very) that you feel like you’re looking for treasure.
Also, those door tumbler kits look ideal, and I’m kind of tempted to get one.
What lovely things to find in a stocking! Hope your wishes are fulfilled. :)
I have a question for you, that perhaps you have had before: what sort of digital tool / pen do you use for your drawings? I like the way your lines look.
Thanks – I actually use a black coloured pencil for the final line, and a light brown col-erase pencil underneath. I use this combination for comic work too, but it has a slightly different effect because I’m drawing everything so much bigger.
Ah, I see! Thank you! The end result is so neat and clean, I was sure it was digital.
if your goblin has a monocle, you know it’s good tea :)
Yes, that means it’s snootea. (It took me way too long to come up with that)
Interestingly enough, I’m currently working on my list, too, as it’s been suggested that I’m difficult to shop for. I may have to borrow a few of your ideas.
Out of curiosity, what is Cribbers?
It’s hard to be particular.
“Cribbers” is what Claire (my bff) and her family call Christmas, and I’ve hijacked it for myself.
3. Beeswax nunchaku!
Free & Easy :)
stockings are the best part!! my mom always fills mine up with mcdonalds toys she gets at work (she’s a schoolteacher…), so i always have fun little treats inside!!
i saw this on etsy today and instantly thought of you: http://www.etsy.com/listing/80265992/custom-order-thiefs-toolkit
i wonder if this would be added to the cribbers list (of impossible things?)
whoa dude. it sounds like you have RAYNAUDS (circulation problems). so do i. it is very weird and the only solution i’ve come up with is taking hot showers.
what is this about the all cotton socks tho!?
Aw, this is a good stocking wish list. Beeswax candles are especially great. Are those licorices the salty black kind?